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Rules of Warcraft (An NPC's Guide)
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Post by
Arikan
Rule 1 - When being rescued from the enemy, be sure to walk as slowly as possible. Also, alert as many of the enemy as you can that you are escaping.
Rule 2 - When venturing out into the world, be sure to leave all special equipment, valuable objects, and vital organs at home so those pesky adventurers can not steal them.
Rule 3 - Someone picking flowers sends you into an inexplicable murderous rage. Kill all flower-pickers on sight.
Rule 4 - When fighting an adventurer's pet or minion, be sure to run halfway across the zone before stopping to fight.
Rule 5 - If you are any non-humanoid, learn which humanoids you will allow to walk on top of you without caring and which humanoids you must attack immediatley.
Rule 6 - Insist on attacking adventurers whose levels are astronomically higher then yours. You might get lucky.
Rule 7 - Gravity and physics are really only suggestions. If charging straight up a steep wall is the fastest way to get at that adventurer, go for it!
Rule 8 - If you have only melee attacks, go ahead and knock that adventurer back anyway. You could use the exercise running right back up to them.
Rule 9 - If the adventurer you are fighting has many ranged attacks, go ahead and snare them anyway. Might as well get some use out of it, not like you're going to live long enough for it to matter.
Rule 10 - If you are about to die and have managed to run away to safety, turn yourself right around and charge back in with 2% health. It will end well, trust me.
Post by
Sahasrahla
This thread is pretty damn epic, I'm not gonna lie.
Post by
Kristopher
Rule 11- Sure, knock off the guy on the mammoth. Its not like its hard to go train a mammoth and teach it to obey you.
Post by
MischievousLoki
Rule 11 - Mounted adventurers make you angry. You must knock them off their mount in a single hit even if it means calling their rage and your immediate demise.
Rule 12 - Pay very close attention to where your opponent is standing. If he is standing on a 4 inch tall rock, you're better off just running back home.
Post by
nephthyswanderer
6, 7, and 8 are hilarious.
Don't forget
Rule 13 - If you are chasing a humanoid to far out of your comfort zone, be sure to run at super-sonic speeds back to your happy spot, health awaits you!
Post by
345952
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Post by
Kyura
This is full of win!
Post by
446352
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Post by
caboosefanatic
to add on to rule #1- Don't forget to take plenty of breaks while escaping, its not like your captors will come after you.
#15- (sort of a addition to #1 too) When escaping, be sure not to take the easier way out of the area, ex. where your rescuer just came through and has already killed the bad guys.
Post by
42080
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Post by
irishsnout
#16 if an adventurer is killing monsters in front of you for the quest you gave him, don't help out! you are not a guard.
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345952
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320935
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446352
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Post by
Arikan
All nice additions, we must have a solid list. But I did forget one from my first list.
Rule 22 (two 11's and 14's) - If you are mounted, and a mounted adventurer runs past you, dismount immediatley to chase them better*
*Northrend mobs may ignore this rule
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446352
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146568
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367877
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78918
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Post by
TheOnyx
Rule 1: You do not talk about being an NPC.
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